No Rapture after All

Sayer of Soothe or Fraud

You know what this means, don’t you? It means that now I have to do my hair…sheesh, and I was counting on beast-free day. Seriously though, I wasn’t really counting on the man having his math right or any of that.

I haven’t finished my bucket list and I have jeans in the dryer and whites left to do and the husband wants cookies for next week’s lunch. I simply do not have the time to oblige an 89-year-old pastor—of questionable reputation. There’s that word again; “questionable.” It would seem to me, not that I’m an expert on the subject that Saturday is the day that “questionable” things happen.

Why, for instance, did we awaken at 3:45 a.m. this morning and not be able to get back to sleep? My husband’s arm was hurting and I had fallen asleep in the living room, while attempting to watch House Hunters International, but does that explain it or is there some unseen force that slapped us square across the jaw, yelling, “Wake Up!!!”

Who knows, that’s open to question. And what about those strange blinking lights in the kitchen, when did the power go off and then come back on? That, too, is open to question because we were asleep when it happened. What was that strange raspy noise that awakened me…oh wait, that was me snoring. I remember now…whew, ‘bout scared myself.

Well, as the rapture has been called off, if I feel any shaking today, I will know it is my husband trying to get me to wake up so that I can sleep tonight.