I Want to Meet an Alien Family

Do you suppose that somewhere out there in that vast, dark area we know as space, there is an alien mother telling her child, “Sit down or I’m going to spank you..” or “Your father will hear about this when he gets home.” Maybe she is jetting around in an airfoil or gliding through space with her particles disassembled, yelling, “You had better do as I say or your grounded young Ug!”

Oh, oh, and even better, she has a door vacuum that cleans up the kid’s room, much like the air-leak testers that modern construction has invented. Just suck that thing down on the door, flip the switch and “wooooosh” the room is clean, furniture and all. Young Ug comes home to find that his ear-binder, socializing media screen, and air hammock are now in the vacuum of space, and there’s a note floating above the area that was once occupied by his bed, it reads, “I told you to clean up your room or I would.”

Maybe the father glides into his side of the bubble that cleans, vacuums, heats, and cools his mode of transportation, each day, only to find that young Ug has parked his air bike in the way, causing the beleaguered parent to crash into the wide-open range of the neighbor’s back cloud. When he’s gathered his senses, turned on his personal jet-pack and reached the 15^th cloud on the left, just past Ms. Fidgewigget’s space popular, young Ug can be seen making a hasty escape in his mother’s air foil.

I truly want to meet an alien family, so that I can find out if life is easier in an advanced society. Do they constantly wish they could visit Nebula Artaris and take an extended vacation? Do they have their groceries delivered in the middle of the night merely by thinking about what they want to eat? Is there a place where young Ug behaves 24/7 without having be yelled at or punished? Just wondering, really, but it is a point of curiosity…they’re probably out there laughing their beezers off at us, while we’re struggling to come up with the right answer at the right time, and sorely missing the target.